I have failed, and am ready for success.

TkN January 28th, 2010

Roughly 400 students fought for two spots that would become a gateway to their career six years later. The rate of success is half a percent. I was among the 99.5% who failed to secure a graduate appointment at the University of Minnesota. I anticipate a similar outcome at two other graduate schools I applied to. The cycle begins again next year. But this time, having tasted failure, I have a better understanding of what is needed to succeed. My agenda within the next 11 months:

1. Co-author three publications. Am currently writing an IRB for a study proposal in which we hope to launch by late February. That study alone can theoretically yield three papers as well as opening up routes for follow-up studies. Hence this goal is a realistic one.

2. Retake the GRE. A good score can become great. A great score can become perfect. I knew that I did not perform my best when I took the GRE. I reviewed its content under a month when the recommended time is three months. I took only two practice tests total, including the diagnostic. Clearly, my score reflects a natural performance, not one that has been perfected with practice.

3. Take graduate coursework. As a staff, I get 75% discount for courses. I will definitely take advantage of this and enroll in graduate-level courses that are offered in evenings. There’s no better way to prove academic aptitude and competence than actually handling said academic load, and with fruitful results.

4. Visit graduate programs and Professors. Putting a face on an applicant’s name is always a good idea. I will definitely visit UF in June and Texas (Austin) sometimes during Fall semester. There’s a possibility I will be in Pennsylvania comes March.

5. Apply to more schools and start the process early. I applied to only three schools this time, all of which are among the Top 10. It’s not that I’m full of myself and thought only the best of the best could offer what I am looking for. Just that I missed out on many deadlines as most schools don’t accept late GRE scores albeit my valid, medical reason for taking the exam late (i.e. having the swine flu).

These five items will be my priorities for the upcoming months.

The main ingredient for success is failure. Now, I’m ready to cook this recipe.

Posted in Academics 1 Comment »

He. I. Our Promise

TkN January 20th, 2010

It takes a long distance relationship to realize the mundane can be the precious and romantic. It takes proximity to synchronize the heartbeats of two. But it takes neither to seal a promise of everlasting. :)

Minnesota, his third visit:

Posted in Love 4 Comments »

Skincare

TkN January 8th, 2010

Lately, a lot of people praised me for having beautiful skin. The truth is, I have had my share of acne problems. I’ve tried a few products, unsuccessfully. Salicylic acid did not do the job. I was allergic to benzoyl peroxide.

Not coincidentally, the period in which I experienced my acne problems was when I was most stressed and least happy. When I stopped heeding attention to my skin problems and focused my energy on targeting the roots of my woes, however, I became happier. My skin also cleared up.

I often get much less than eight hours of sleep. I sometimes go to bed without washing my face because I was too fatigued to care. I consume more caffeine than water. I eat out often. But, the key is… I don’t stress myself with this less than healthy lifestyle/diet. I’m not proud of it, of course not. But if I can’t do much to change it for the time being, I might as well not be troubled by it.

That said, below is my “daily” routine for skincare. [I use the term daily very loosely because I tend to not abide to my regime. But perhaps less is more and ignorance is bliss. :P]

Morning Routine:

Johnson & Johnson Purpose Facial Cleanser
$5.38 / 6 oz

I highly recommend this product. It is advertised to be as gentle as water. It gives a very refreshing wash, enhances your skin’s natural glow, and softens it greatly. I use it in the morning.

Note: wash with warm water and rinse with cold water. Why? Warm water opens up your pores for a more thorough cleanse. Cold water closes your pores when you’re done.

Neutrogena Triple-Action Toner (optional, but recommended if wearing makeup)
$7.48 / 8 oz

Apply toner before your moisturizer to reduce the size of your pores. The particular toner I use is advertised to treat acne before it emerges. I can’t vouch for this since I only use it once a blue moon. But the toner is definitely refreshing and soothing.

Johnson & Johnson Purpose Moisturizer
$9.99 / 4 oz

In the summer, I protect my skin with Johnson & Johnson’s Purpose Moisturizer. It has a very high SPF protection against UV A/B. It dissolves finely into your skin, but may leave it rather oily on hot and humid days. Wearing a thin layer of powder or foundation will help reduce this sticky feeling. This product also helps reduce redness.

Now that it’s winter and mostly dark out, my morning and evening moisturizer is one: Neutrogena (with less SPF protection than Johnson, see below). I prefer Neutrogena because it is not one bit sticky and goes on very smoothly.

Evening Routine:

Biore acne blemish fighting complexion clearing, ice cleanser
$7.45 / 6.7 oz

It is advertised to prevent the development of acne blemishes and blackheads. Truly, a thorough and refreshing cleanse.

Queen Helene Masque
$7.49 / 8 oz

It is recommended to use it once a week to rid dead skin cells and rejuvenate your skin. I bought mine in January of 2008. The bottle is still half full. :P It is very effective however. After applying the mask for fifteen minutes, your skin is noticeably softer and smoother. It is also advertised to dry up acne.

Neutrogena Moisturizer
$10.79 / 4 oz

Incredibly lightweight and non-greasy. Moisturizes skin without adding shine. A perfect choice if its SPF index is higher.

To treat pimples

If a new pimple sprout, before going to bed, I apply a dab of Neutrogena On-the-Spot acne treatment ($6.29). On average, the pimple disappears in three days. If you consistently notice pimples appearing in the same area, take note. Do you wear a hat and often have pimples on your forehead? Maybe wash your hat more often or adorn it less often. Also, remember to replace your pillowcase at least weekly.

Prescriptive drugs:

Having a pharmacist for a sister means having a lot of drugs recommendations. I’ve experimented with a few acne treatments for a short duration of time. My brief comments regarding them:

Differin gives a very harsh treatment. The product is too strong for sensitive skin like mine. It will most likely give you rosacea. It also worsens your condition before things get better. This worsening period can take up to three years (as disclosed by various product reviewers). Considering the time and cost, you’re better off avoiding this product.

Tretinoin is good with treating blackheads that may accumulate on and around your nose. It is better with preventing acne than treating acne. (Biore nose strips do a fine job with removing blackheads too, btw.)

Clindamycin is the product I’d recommend if your acne problem is persistent. Your progress may be gradual but the wait is worth it for a more effective end result. The rule of thumb is to use sparingly.

If you suffer from acne problems, wear light or no makeup. Let your skin breathe. Most importantly, don’t be vexed by it. Leave it alone and let it heal in time. Ignore it. Your skin does not define you. A beautiful, genuine smile makes a stronger and more powerful statement than flawless skin. Let your inner beauty shine! :)

Posted in Health, Tips 10 Comments »

2010, Salut!

TkN January 1st, 2010

As every beginning comes from another beginning’s end, let us first discuss 2009!

Life post-graduation

… has more ups than downs. Though I am grateful to have found an enjoyable job which boosts my resume and adds to my list of publications, I am still far, far from attaining a career. Nonetheless, I am not standing still. More importantly, the path before me is paved and I embark it with resolution.

Living on my own offers the serenity and quietude I have always favored. (And a chance to showcase my inner interior designing skills!) Yet at times, this peace became overbearing. When I was struck with the swine flu over Thanksgiving break, I couldn’t help but wish to be taken care of. Cooking was already a chore during my healthy state; imagine how much I dreaded the kitchen during those days! Wasn’t I supposed to enjoy a hefty, hearty Thanksgiving meal with loved ones? I didn’t hesitate to exclaim several times, “I want Mommy.”

Fortunately, being independent never meant leaving family members behind. Far from it. One learns to more so appreciate this unconditional love. To witness it and be a part of it this past Christmas was a true blessing. As a picture speaks more than one thousand words, I offer you fragments of my cherished memories:

Christmas Eve

Christmas Day

Boxing Day

What is to come in 2010?

If all goes well, I commence graduate work during the Fall. This, I most look forward to. At the moment, I do not know which school will select me. [Note the realistic tone, i.e. it's not me doing the choosing (though I did narrow my options to only five schools). :P] If I remain in Minnesota, I will be reassured with the comfort of traveling a known path and studying under mentors I have long admired. If I venture elsewhere, I will revel in the excitement ahead, undertaking new challenges and adapting to new environments. Quite frankly, I just want to attend grad school and walk that steady path toward a successful career! lol.

Before Fall, however, there is a wedding to attend. I never thought the day would come for my picky brother to find his soulmate. :P I met her on Christmas Day and though our interactions were few and short, I could easily identify her kind-hearted nature and strong family values. In short, I approve of my sister-in-law-to-be. (Yes, I have to approve each and every of my siblings’ significant others before they marry. :P)

And sometimes in March or April, I’m meeting Fran, Yen, and Mimosa. Yup, it’s all set in stone! hahaha j/k But, my fingers are crossed!

And yet, before all of the above, I celebrate my second anniversary with Anh. Over the course of our relationship, we have both acknowledged and even (temporarily) surrendered to heartaches. We gave in, but did not give up. Our relationship, filled with veracity and genuineness, stood strong against distance and unfavorable circumstances. Though clichéd, I fall deeper in love each day…

Anh, forever is ours.

Cheers to a new year, a new decade!

Posted in Academics, Chronology, Family, Love, Stray Thoughts 4 Comments »

Culture-specific Petpeeves

TkN December 15th, 2009

I identify myself as an Asian and specifically, Vietnamese. I embrace my culture, taking pride in its strengths and tolerating its weaknesses. But there is one petpeeve I can’t seem to bear. I have observed, time and time again, that Asian people tend to be quite loud in public places. On the bus, in a restaurant, at the library, etc. I don’t need to listen in on your conversations (especially when I was not within earshot). I don’t care about your food preferences when you’re debating what to have for dinner. I don’t need to know the disagreements between you and your husband. Once, while riding the bus, two Vietnamese girls across from me couldn’t agree on my ethnicity. They eventually settled on either Korean or Chinese. Of course, they weren’t being disrespectful. But they committed a mistake by default: assuming passerby’s do not speak their language. Now, I am not completely innocent either. I have committed the same mistake. In fact, when with friends, I like to people watch and make random, silly comments regarding them. Never were my comments rude or condescending. But perhaps, they do lack sensibility and I would be embarrassed if the addressees understood me. I had little to worry about, however, since it’s so rare to bump into another Vietnamese. Well, that assumption was challenged when I was in Orange County, CA this past summer. I forgot that 90% of the people around me spoke Vietnamese. My friend kept reminding me of the fact, claiming that we’d soon be chased by the people I criticized. (My comments were something like: he coughed without covering his mouth!) One evening, my friend and I stopped at a grocery store so I could purchase birthday candles for Luuly. At the check out register, I made an unnecessary and senseless comment in Vietnamese to my friend who wasn’t even nearby, “Oh, he’s buying roses for his lady.” I earned a glare from the very Vietnamese woman. I reckon I have ruined their little romantic gesture… Oops.

Resolution #2: Keep private thoughts to oneself

Slightly off topic, but it irks me when people express pride in the fact that I am fluent in Vietnamese – writing, reading, and speaking. Should that not be expected? Fluency in your own mother tongue is the norm, is it not? If they take pride in me, would it take them by complete shock to know my children will one day be fluent in Vietnamese too? I am not raising the bars; I am not raising standards. I only wish to get one clear message across: We never should forget our roots.

Posted in Stray Thoughts 9 Comments »

Respect Authority

TkN December 8th, 2009

I love my job. No matter how hectic, the hours are always flexible enough for me to come in late without having to feel guilty, because I fulfilled 8+ hours the day before. I love my busy job. Though I sometimes need to come into the office on a Sunday, it doesn’t interfere with my ability to allocate some me-time. I’ve been watching enough Born Rich episodes as proof. Yet, I failed to dedicate a fraction of that me-time for writing. And now, I miss writing. I miss reflecting upon my experiences, and hence the opportunity to learn from my mistakes. Not to add, writing enriches my creativity.

Yes, I miss writing. I hereby take the pledge of writing something (no matter how sensless or irrelevant) once a week. Yes, to update this blog weekly. And in the spirit of the coming new year, I shall allot these writing episodes to ponder my weaknesses and make resolutions.

Resolution #1: Respect authority

No, I don’t think I have ever been disrespectful to any individual. But I am not the most obedient child on Earth. Far from it; I like to be a rebel. I want to have my own ideals and pursuits. I thirst to be in complete control. Always. I am my own leader. Yes, I do follow instructions. But I have always been capable of interpreting them to fit my own standards. I yearn for autonomy; I hate constraints. For these reasons, I found my post as lab manager a perfect fit. I establish the rules. I have almost complete freedom regarding my work duties.

Or so I thought.

I nurture creativity. I respect those who are independent thinkers. I urge everyone to take initiatives. And I believe those qualities are what employers seek for. And I believe I have them, in excess. It wasn’t until today that I realize too much autonomy and initiatives might be a bad thing. No, I have not violated any rules (for my job description did not exactly detail any). But I have made many decisions, organized many activities, and assigned many tasks that I did not run through first with my employer. For some, I deemed them too small a matter to bother him. For others, I thought they were essential and urgent for me to execute a plan first and to inform later. He respects my independence and my ability to resolve conflicts. But he gently reminds me, for the third time today, that I should report to him before carrying out a decision. I shouldn’t need three reminders to realize that I have failed to respect authority.

I have never been an arrogant person. But in my self-confidence, I have sometimes neglected to be humble.

One lesson learned.

Posted in Contemplations 5 Comments »

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