From Rain
Question: Hi TkN! This is my first time actually asking for advice here, so don't mind me! Any who, well how to start? Hm...first off this is a problem between me and my best friend. I'm currently in the 11th grade now and well me and my best friend have been best friends since the 7th grade. One can say that we're as close as sisters and that's how we were for the past 4 years or so. And now here's the thing, since around November, she has completely stopped talking to me and actually ignoring me. When I walk by and say "hi" or anything to her, she would either just brush me off or talk to me like as if I'm a complete stranger with one word response here and there. I've been deeply hurt because I remember it like yesterday that we were still messing around and talking to each other like there's nothing more important than our friendship. But now, I can think otherwise, I have actually told some of my other friends that are close to me as well about what's going on and they noticed she's been changing too. The thing is that she's still talking to everyone and acting the same around them, but with me; she has been completely ice cold. I've been observing her behavior to others and me for the past few months and I can't seem to understand why she's behaving this way. I really have no clue what did I do to make her ignore me like this. So I'm curious should I usher up my courage and finally ask her why our friendship has turned this way or just ignore and pretend that there's no problem? I'm really scared though, I'm scared I'll break down after hearing her response to the question and also we hang out in the same group of friends, I really don't want them to chose sides or anything.
Answer: Good observational skills are important in every friendship. However, good communication skills are more so important in maintaining that friendship. Do gather the courage and ask her what has gone wrong. You are oblivious to why she had a change in attitude. And therefore, you cannot take the blame. From what you have described, I believe a misunderstanding is responsible for your drifting apart. When that is the case, it is better to clarify everything sooner than later. As your lack of contact began in November, it has already been approximately four months. Yet, the situation still bothers you. That alone is evidence to how much you value your friendship with her. Let her be clear of this point. And if in the end, she refuses to work things out... Then perhaps everything boils down to - people change; relationships evolve. But, this is an outcome I am highly doubtful of. Four years of friendship cannot (and should not) be taken away after four months of silence. Work things out with her. :)